Monday, May 2, 2011

Kicking Puppies!

Have you ever kicked a puppy? Have you ever felt the urge to punt it across the living room?

If you have you are going to hate your self in the morning! Too often do we find ourselves in an "existential quandary full of loathing and self doubt." Do not fill the void in your life with the evil habit of kicking small animals. Hailee wants to punt a duck! You may ask yourself, why? No one really knows what is going through her gradumacated mind. And you do not have to! Just know that if you ever have the urge to kick a duck that you will always think about Hailee, "The Duck Punter."

I have kicked a dog before but only because it was chasing me as a missionary on my bike. I have also hit a duck I think while driving a car many years ago.

Cliff had a crush on Chelsea (not the real spelling of her name according to Cliff) who is married and has children. The day she got married Cliff felt like his heart was ripped from his tender man chest and thrown to the ground. Poor Cliff Chandler!

Hailee's worst experience ever came when a man, who she knew not, showed up at a haunted forest and attacked her with a flame thrower of death carrying ducks. Hence her desire to punt them. OH BOY!

Dear Hailee,
Please stop punting ducks. It hurts them! How would you feel if people punted you?
Your Stalker,

As I sit here on the porch of LIFE, I wonder what to do. Should I kick a duck or a puppy? Some would say, "Neither you quack!" Pardon the pun! HE HE HE!

To all of you reading this you are probably wondering what this post is about. It is about nothing, but I hope you enjoyed it.