I've spent a lot of my adult life dating. Why you ask? Because I have to if I want to get married and spend the rest of my life with the woman I love and be able to raise a family together with her. I come from a large family. I have six brothers, five of which are married. Out of those five marriages has come 19 nieces and nephews. My brothers love their wives and vise-versa. They love their children and their children love them. I know what love is. I've experienced it and I have shared in it. I have seen its effects on the world around and I have seen what great blessings it can bring into my life and the lives of those around me. I can't wait until the day I get to share in that same love that I see my brothers and their families share with one another on a daily bases.
As mentioned before I have dated much in my adult years. I didn't date much as a youth. Yes I went out and hung out with people or went to school dances and such but it wasn't until after my return from my mission that I began to really take the time to actually start dating. It may not have been that I didn't want to in my youth but dating than wasn't easy.
It's not any easier now. But why? As adults we learn to become more confident, we have hopefully settled in to who we are as human beings. We have made many decisions throughout the course of our life that has molded us into the person we now are. So why then do we find it so hard to find someone that can settle into that life we have created? Are we afraid of what falling in love can do? Are we afraid of rejection? Are we afraid to take a leap into something that can make us happier than we have ever been before? I think we are.
I am by no means perfect. I have my faults and for the most part I know what most of them are and I try to improve upon them daily. Many of them I know not of and may never know unless there is someone willing to help me understand them and help me to better my self. I make mistakes but making mistakes is part of who we are as humans. That is never going to change and if you expect are humans frailties to change as humans then you have lost reality and are living in a fantasy world.
Life is a blessing. One that we should not take for granted. I was read a quote from a leader of my church that spoke of Christ seeing us in terms of forever and not in terms of where we are. Christ sees our potential. He sees us for what we can become and what great and amazing things we can do despite our imperfections. If He believes in us then why don't we believe in each other. Why do we see each other in terms of now and not our potential future selves? I would submit that it's because we are human and we are not perfect, but that's no excuse for not trying. We have a responsibility to look past what people are now and their imperfections and see them as Christ and our Heavenly Father see them.
I write this because I sometimes fear that I'm this is how people see me. I fear that people see me for who I am right now and don't always look at the potential of who I can become. I know that I can only attain a certain type of growth on my own. I know that I can only make it so far on my own in life. And I understand that I need my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to help my become a better person, but I also feel that I need the the Love of a woman, other than my mother, to make me a better man. I need someone that sees me they way I want to see them. I want to love someone in a way that knows now bounds and that can last the eternities. I want a love that pushes me beyond the brink of life and takes me to a place where I can someday be like unto my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Someday I will find this love. Yes I know my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know my family loves me. I know these things to be true without a shadow of a doubt.
I date not because I enjoy having my heart broken but because I someday want the love I see my parents share. I date because someday I want to hold the women of my dreams in my arms I see her the same way she sees me, with a love that knows no bounds. I date, despite its hardships, because I know I must sift through the troubles of it to find the one women that will make it worth all the heart break.
My heart has been bruised many times through heart ache but in the end all it does is make it stronger Stronger so that someday when I am with the women I love with all my heart we can make the hard choices together when raising our family together in this life and through the eternities.
Hopefully this all makes sense! Thanks for reading.